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Program List
SERVICES OFFERED
 Kids Death & Grief - “Healing
the Wound”
For Kids 11-17
Is it really over?
Was it my fault?
Where does the spirit go?
Who can I ask these questions?
Children are often forgotten about
during grief. Adults are dealing with their own grief and are
often too exhausted, numb and overwhelmed to help with the child’s
situation or just don’t feel like they have the answers
and do not know how to talk with the child. Neglecting children’s
questions and grief process can lead to turbulent adolescent
and teenage years as well as the emergence of a troubled adulthood.
Almost everyone has a childhood memory of when a loved one has
passed away, maybe a family member, friend, family pet, or somebody
known to him or her. Our culture often does not prepare us for
death or honor the grief process. Often, this leaves our children
in a state of lonely confusion with no one to turn to or a feeling
that they must be “strong” and show that they are “okay”.
Allowing for the difficult questions to be asked and explored,
honoring the child’s grief process and letting them see
they are not alone, will help lead to their own healthy understanding
of grief, death, and possibly personal spirituality.
Together, we will be dealing with issues a young person may
have about death, while teaching and allowing them to express
their feelings through nature, peer groups, writings, sharing,
role-play, play, straight-talk, ceremony, art, music, and other
modalities. All of this unfolds in an environment that allows
the child to feel safe, heard, honored and not alone, offering
each child a new view on the situation while setting up a foundation
to deal with future grief issues.
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Loss
of a Child – “Coping,
Growing & Moving Forward”
There is an unwritten law that seems to say our children will
outlive us as parents. When this law is broken, the most
devastating grief possible can take over our lives. All realities
are shattered and nothing that we took as truth seems real
anymore. The loss of a child is most parents’ nightmare
and when it comes true, the level of grief is immeasurable.
The intensity of emotion can be out of control and the spin
indescribable.
Even with the wonderful support of friends and family with good
intentions, you may find yourself feeling alone,  desperate, afraid,
angry, guilty or any other emotion possible, often arising at
the same time and in conflict with each other. With so many emotions
coming and going, it is difficult to make conscious choices and
function in a world that demands decisions, answers and production.
All of these may seem completely unattainable.
Our goal in this workshop is to honor your grief process as
a parent while helping you find an intellectual “foothold”,
allowing that falling feeling to be reduced, so that you can
begin forming a new foundation of reality. With education, ceremony,
sharing, different types of expressive modalities, self-care,
rest, and reassurance, we will explore the grief process and
provide some tools that can be used to start rebuilding your
life with renewed energy, based on conscious decisions.
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Surviving
Divorce – “Finding & Redefining
Yourself Again”
When a divorce happens, whether cordially or bitterly, joyfully
or sadly, abruptly or over a long period of time — an
entity has passed away. Humility, anger, rejection, loneliness,
fear, longing and a thousand other emotions may arise. For
many, a feeling of failure or a sense of carrying a “negative
stigma” accompanies this ending. Often, this leads to
directing anger, guilt, and other self-abusing thoughts inward
with consequences that jeopardize your health and well being
and undermine your future. “What do I do now?” “I
thought we would be together forever?” “I have
failed!” “How do I handle my shame or anger?” “What
could I have done differently?” We will examine these
familiar, yet very personal questions and offer active steps
to start creating new life for yourself. The divorce rate is
at 52%, which may create a sense of being disenfranchised in
your grief process. When a marriage is over, an entity dies.
This “entity” deserves to be grieved. In doing
so, you honor yourself and allow healthy new beginnings to
enter your life.
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Overcoming Grief – “Finding
Your Way Clear”
Someone once said, “Grief is a walk through loss and pain
with no competition or time trials.” Whenever we experience
a loss, or an attachment is broken, a scar is left where there
once was a bond of love. Grief can come in many guises: death,
divorce, loss of a pet, miscarriage, an illness, an accident,
stillbirth, retirement, graduation of a child, being fired, and
so on. Anything that shakes your foundation of reality as you
know it can cause grief. By understanding the layers of grief,
and learning the scope of the “emotional roller coaster”,
you can begin to face the world and process your feelings without
judgments.
Many types of grief are not recognized in our society, leaving
us feeling alone and with nowhere to turn; this is called “disenfranchised
grief”. Other times, people put a time limit on how long
we should grieve and if we pass this set amount of time, we may
feel that we're supposed to “hurry and get over it”.
Due to these social pressures, we often deny our true feelings
and cut ourselves off from the healing process. We deprive ourselves
of the opportunity to restore the balance and stimulate growth
in our new lives.
In this workshop, we will discuss in detail the layers of the
grief process and how they affect the lives of all who surround
us. We will encourage you to honor each layer, seeing it as a
necessary element of growth toward becoming “whole” again.
Our goal is to allow you the space to feel your grief, honor
your grief and your growth, while giving you some information
and “tools” to take back with you to start living
a happier and more conscious life.
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Caretakers
of the Seriously Ill – “Preparation,
Reality & Rest”
Death can be from a long-term illness or sudden. Whenever possible,
preparation ahead of time will ease the burden and emotional
turmoil around the death of a loved one. With long-term illness,
there are needs that must be met. Many organizations such as
hospice, local social services, visiting health care, spiritual
affiliations, and so on have arisen to help with these needs.
Even with all of these services, there are many demands on
the family unique to the intimate nature of serious illness
and the dying process. Many times, these demands are targeted
and funneled to one person. Spouse, daughter, son, or parent,
this “target” person can find himself or herself
in an exhausting role, yet one of vital importance. We will
explore issues such as anticipatory grief, self-care and self-worth,
family dynamics, organizations and systems to help ease the
amount of work, and a practical checklist of tasks such as
writing a will, living wills, legal rights, letters, funeral
preparation, cremation, burial, verbal closure with the person
and other important issues that will help after the person
has died.
This workshop would be appropriate for caregivers or anyone
else who may want to learn how to prepare and be as ready as
possible to help in the last stage of a person's life. Our goal
is to help you gather knowledge of what support is available
and to help you cope with the many challenges of this transition.
It is a time that can be an amazing gift for the person dying
and an equally amazing gift to the caregivers. This precious
opportunity to be present with a dying person can be life changing
and lead to new realizations, as well as deeper ease with the
grief process after the loved one is gone.
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When a Partner Dies – “Where
Is the Team?”
The loss of a partner is likely to leave the one left behind,
feeling helpless, alone, robbed, and lost. All of a sudden,
you and you alone are faced with all those decisions, actions
and ideas that you used to deal with as a team. Plans, dreams
and immediate needs are scattered, with no apparent direction
or even a footpath in site. Thought processes, motives, values
and beliefs become unclear and each decision may seem insurmountable.
With or without support from the community and family, you
find yourself confronting the stark reality of being alone
with a vast array of choices and responsibilities ranging from
parenting, relocating and envisioning future plans, to paying
the bills or even beginning to think about dating. The emotions
rise and fall like a constant storm that is relentless and
exhausting.
Our goal in this workshop is to help educate you and provide
you with enough of an intellectual foothold on the grief process
so that you can grieve consciously while honoring your partner.
Our second goal will be to help you obtain personal tools that
offer you some strength and energy to move forward in life while
honoring your loss as well as cultivating your own personal growth
and future.
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When Our Role Models
Die – “Grieving Our Elders”
As parents, aunts and uncles, role models, heroes, and
older friends pass to the other side, whether expected
or unexpected, you can be left with a feeling of abandonment.
During most of your life you may have looked to these people
for assurance and guidance or strived to have a strong
relationship with them. In some way, they filled a space
in you and now you may be acutely feeling the void they
leave behind. From unsettled business, lost dreams, anger,
debilitating grief, childhood memories (good or bad), to
compassion, love, gratitude, and esteem, an overwhelming
array of emotions may arise. A corresponding sense of chaos
and exhaustion may leave you “frozen” and
isolated. This often leads to other family members and friends
not being supportive due to not understanding.
In a safe and supportive environment, we will explore this difficult
time, honoring each person’s loss and their grief process.
Through education, ceremony, writing, personal reflection, rest,
discussion, ways to take care of your “self”, and
other modalities, you will navigate your personal path to healing
in the grief process. This will allow you to acquire knowledge
and skills to work with your grief, and, in the process, honor
the person who has passed as well as honoring yourself.
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SERVICES OFFERED
 Personalized Intensives
Intensives are personalized emotional healing programs for individuals
designed to address their unique grief issues and circumstances.
Intensives can last from three days to three weeks. You will
call to set specific goals. The combination of your goals and
our tools come together to create a nurturing environment in
which healing is possible.
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Workshops & Seminars
Golden Willow Retreat offers 3 day workshops on a variety of
grief issues. You can see more detailed descriptions under our
workshops page. We invite outside speakers within the realm of
wellness and healing to offer seminars, workshops and conferences
to take place at our facility. Please email or call us to determine
space requirements and special needs.
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Respites & Retreats
Golden Willow Retreat recognizes that in the course of grief
sometimes you may wish to leave the security of familiar surroundings
in order to process your grief issues. We offer many types of
rest and rejuvenation custom packages complete with accommodations,
spa treatments and counseling for your special needs. We encourage
you to explore the area hiking trails or just relax and ponder
the moment watching the scenic sunsets. Please come prepared
for weather fluctuations. Call (505)776-2024 or email Golden
Willow Retreat for availability.
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Spiritual Ceremonies
Golden Willow Retreat views ceremony as an honoring of movement
through life. The rituals of beginnings and endings, birth and
death are familiar. Very seldom are life events black and white.
Sometimes life transitions are confusing as an ending is a new
beginning or a new beginning involves ending. Through ceremony
we recognize the importance of where you are and where you are
going.
We, at Golden Willow honor all spiritualities allowing for various
rituals for the many stages in the cycles of life – Endings,
New Beginnings, Rites of Passage, Milestones, Releasing (letting
go of the past), Healing. These honoring rituals enable us to
continue on with our healing process showing respect to the past
while moving forward with our lives.
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Counseling
Golden Willow recognizes that there are as many types of grief
as there are individuals living in the world. Whether an individual
is experiencing stress due to relationship problems, a family
crisis, or health issues, we all need to express our feelings
and have someone to listen and support us. It is very important
to feel safe and sane as you work through issues. You are not
alone. We honor everyone’s process and your own personal
path, realizing that grief is an individual path in which support
is needed as one moves through the process.
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Mentoring
Golden Willow Retreat mentors adolescents in need. A great deal
of grief begins at the awkward age of adolescence. We work with
the family and the adolescent to help empower both and open new
ways of communication. For a young person to have someone they
can talk with that is not a member of their family circle, can
be the factor that allows them to make conscious and responsible
decisions, helping the individual not compound their grief with
destructive behaviors.
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Grief Support Group
Golden Willow provides five 6-week Grief Support Group meetings
annually in Taos, New Mexico and the surrounding areas. Call
(505)776-2024 or email Golden Willow Retreat for times and locations.
Location: Yaxche Learning Center
123 Manzanares, Taos, NM
Time: 6:30-8:00pm
Day: Usually Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday
Consistent for the 6 weeks.
The location, time, and day will change according to demand,
but will remain consistent for the duration of the 6 week Grief
Support Group once the parameters have been set.
As a basis for the 6-week Grief Support Group, we move through
the phases of grief according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:
Week 1 orientation to the grief process
Week 2 denial & isolation
Week 3 anger
Week 4 bargaining
Week 5 depression
Week 6 acceptance
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 "Celebrant" Memorial
Service
As one of life’s cycles, we all experience the death of
a loved one. As non-denominational ministers, we have the flexibility
to provide a memorial service that honors both the beloved one
who has passed away and the loved ones left behind. A service
that addresses the family’s needs is often the first step
in healing. We will meet with the family and develop the service
that is right for all involved. There may be a need for more
than one service – one for the public – another intimate
service for family only. We will do our best to make this tough
situation become the threshold for new beginnings as well as
a step towards healing the heart and soul. Memorial services
can be arranged at any time to commemorate a passing.
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